Season 9 Sam is killing me emotionally

Season nine is a very hard time for Dean. A lot of people close to him die and get hurt. He could deal with people dying, he could deal with injuries, but something he can't deal with, on top of everything else, is Sam. Sam broke him especially in episode thirteen. You can see how broken Dean feels after he talks with Sam. He looks like he's about to cry.

*****Spoiler Alert****

First and foremost, if you haven't seen this episode, it seems very happy and funny. In the beginning dean uses his usual tactics of ignoring his problems. When Sam asks "You sure your'e okay,Dean?", he immediately deflects by saying "Why wouldn't I be?". Dean uses his usual tactic and dodges the question. When Sam persists by asking if this was about the other day, Dean puts on his persona of the unbreakable hunter his father taught him to wear. He pretends it doesn't bother him and ignores it until he can't.

However. if you haven't seen prior to this episode, or have forgotten exactly what i'm talking about, i'll remind you. Sam attempted to close the gates of hell and was about to complete the third trial so he could do it. Dean stopped him once her found out it would end up killing Sam. It was too late. The power was killing Sam and, while on the verge pf death, Dean allowed an angel to enter Sam, without his knowledge. It turned out the angel was not Ezekiel but Gadreel. He killed several people, including Kevin, with Sam as his vessel. When Gadreel was kicked out of Sams body, Sam refused to talk to Dean. He eventually told him they shouldn't be brothers which is what Sam is referring to in this episode.

Later in the episode, towards the end, Dean starts another conversation about it. It's during this conversation that Sam kills Dean. In the previous picture, you can see it in his eyes. He virtually lives for Sam. During this conversation, Sam told him he was doing more bad than he was good, and that he wouldn't have saved him. Sam told him he would have let him die. That sentence killed Dean. The exact conversation went like this:

Dean: About what you said the other day.

Sam: I thought it didn’t bother you. Dean: You know Sam, I saved your hide back there. I saved your hide at that church — in the hospital. I may not think things all the way through but when I do, it’s because it’s the right thing. I’d do it again. Sam: And that is the problem. You think you’re my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in and even when you mess up you think what you’re doing is worth it because you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing more good than bad... but you’re not. Kevin’s dead, Crowley’s in the wind, we’re no closer to beating this angel thing, please tell me, what is the upside to me being alive? Dean: Are you kidding me? You and me, fighting the good fight together. Sam: Just once be honest with me, you didn’t save me for me. You did it for you. Dean: What are you talking about? Sam: I was ready to die, I was ready. I should have died. But you, you didn’t want to be alone. That’s what this boils down to, you can’t stand the thought of being alone. I’ll give you this much, you are certainly willing to do the sacrifice, as long as you’re not the one being hurt. Dean: Alright, you want to be honest, if the situation was reversed, and I was dying, you’d do the same thing.

Sam: No Dean, I wouldn’t. Same circumstances, I wouldn’t. I’m heading to bed.

In my opinion, Sam never had the right to say this to Dean. He knows exactly how Dean is wired. Dean has sacrificed his life, his everything, for Sam. Sam knows he was conditioned by their father that family was everything. He has been abandoned by Everyone before, including Sam, but that was the worst thing Sam could have ever done to Dean. The fact that Sam disowned him as family and would have let him die, was complete betrayal. By saying this, Dean thinks that Sam doesn't love him. He thinks he failed his father. Dean has a lot of issues because of his father and one of them is his need to put Sam before himself and protect Sam above all else. If Sam was ready to die, then Dean failed. Dean also sees this as his brother would let him die. Another thing their father imprinted on them was that family comes above all else. It doesn't matter what, you always choose family. It's why he sold his soul for Dean, and why Dean sold his soul for Sam. Sam telling Dean he would have let him die doesn't just kill me emotionally, its destroying Dean.